#idk if I should tag this any such way

[katzirra]

Idiot child had surgery again. He has uhh aural haematoma or something - blood blister in his ear. Could be from a number of things but considering Will bites that ear so much, my money is on that...

Leg surgery earlier this year taught us Hanni hates cones, and is a tantrum toddler about them, so I thought we'd try soft cones so he can sleep easier.

Sized them right and they did...not work out, the orange one is so shallow and boxes his poor ears in... and the sunflower fit great and he could lay down, but I filled his bowls and looked away for 2 minutes and he tore it off with all 4 feet....

So he's being a sad puddle on my floor accepting his fate.

I had work to do today but he requires attention and company, sigh. So it's movies in bed and trying to do some asks/sketches on my ipad lol

THOUGHT I'D SHARE A LIFE UPDATE OF MY GARBAGE SON....

[xxplastic-cubexx]

Hi!! Your Cherik is so good and gorgeous 🤩🤩 If you don't mind wanna try to draw some Fall of X Cherik please?

thank you so much !!

i have a couple of ideas relating to the fall of x period specifically since theres. A Lot i wanna play with, so i hope this lil thing may be a satisfactory start :]]

and the obligatory bonus:

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Suddenly remembered something I wanted to say re:Akechi, because I think it's really core to his character (at least the way I interpreted him?) and I feel like it explains a lot of his contradictions. Essentially, he is incapable of seeing himself as just a person - he's either the greatest hero/detective ever, or he's some violent monster, and it's like there's no in-between. It's very in keeping with his obvious superiority-inferiority complex, but it goes deeper than that too; when he's in a role, it seems like his self-perception kind of changes too depending on how he is perceived by others. He really does get a confidence boost from being the Detective Prince. He really does shut down emotionally as the Black Mask.

They're masks that he's made, and it's not that aspects of them aren't based in truth to some extent, but I think it goes to show why he's not actually that fantastic a liar (imo, I found the outright lies pretty obvious), but he is a very good actor. He's either an angel or a demon, and never a person, but there are conditions to that. He is an angel when he is perfect - to society. He is a demon when he is vengeful - again, to society. He is never a person, because he never was seen as one - to society. He was disregarded. To be anything of value or notoriety, whether that's hero or villain, he has to be wildly more or less than who he actually is, and he's been building these masks up for so long that I really think he lost sight of the actual person behind it all. And I don't think he wanted to see that person anyways, because that person "wasn't good enough" and I do think he'd rather be anything other than himself. That trickery, that deflection from the person within, in itself brings him pride and satisfaction. He wants to be loved and needed instead of being cast aside, but I also think that if he can't have that then he'd much rather be hated than never have mattered at all. He weaponizes his own loneliness - if he can't ever be accepted then he'll build his own pedestal apart from everyone else.

It's so fascinating too, because I just wonder how much of this he was consciously aware of pre, during, and post engine room. There's this recurring thing with him where he goes "I can only be myself" etc but I just want to shake him because, well, who is that, Akechi??? Or, who do you think that is? Do you actually have an answer? Is it predicated on your actual feelings or solely on your success at fooling everyone around you? Is there any part of you that you actually like that isn't based on a painstakingly constructed mask? Isn't it all mostly lies to deflect from the truth? Isn't it all founded mostly on truth, nonetheless?

It drives me insane. And I think this is a big reason why he breaks so hard in the engine room, because so much of his mask requires his "audience" to perform in a particular way. And here he is, and the Thieves have beaten him, so there goes the first mask, because he's no longer "perfect". He swings wildly into the ugliest sides of him, but this mask is broken too, amidst him vehemently and desperately denying that he has any other emotions than hatred and rage, or any other needs or desires than vengeance. And after that, it's just him. And they should reject him, right? That's what happens. He's not useful, he's not needed or perfect, his hands are stained with blood. But the Thieves, again, don't play the role he expects them to. They, despite everything, relate to him - because he is in fact very similar in a lot of ways and they acknowledge him as a person - not a hero, or idol, or villain, or tool, or unwanted child - but as a damaged teen like the rest of them. And he does not know what to do with that. His identity is intrinsically dependent on getting the right reactions from other people as a form of ingratiating himself - if he does not get that reciprocal reaction he's looking for, his act falters, and, I really do believe that so does his self-perception. That's why you see different aspects of him seep out when he's spending time with Joker, because Joker does not react the way he expects, and Akechi both does and does not like this, because it leaves him feeling both intrigued and vulnerable.

I do think this particular aspect of his character is something a lot of the Thieves don't fully grasp - certainly, I think Joker "I need the mask" Persona 5 understands to a degree, but the sheer degree of reliance and the level of pride attached to it is something that confuses him a little, I think, especially in Mementos Mission. I think the thief that comes closest is actually Morgana, who has a similar superiority-inferiority complex and a desperate need to be seen as competent and useful lest he be discarded. (This is a big part of why the rather lackluster writing with Morgana's arc frustrates me so much because I really do feel it was meant to be contrasted with Akechi's, but I digress.) Morgana is the one to make that emotional appeal to Akechi, which makes a degree of sense - Morgana struggled all along with finding a place in the world. His form leads others to underestimate him; he visually doesn't fit in. He's acting out the role of a chivalrous and cool phantom thief but is more pragmatic with how he views relationships, at least at first. He wants a place to belong where he is appreciated more than anything but his pride won't let him spit it out. Accepting that he belongs and that he is loved even if he really did have nothing of value to provide is a big part of the resolution of his arc. He tries to offer that learned lesson to Akechi in turn ("Follow your true feelings. Even if you think people hate you, or don't want you around-"), but Akechi just wasn't in the right space to listen. There's also an important distinction between the two - Morgana envies humans and looks up to them. Akechi envies humans and looks down on them. Morgana is perfectly happy once he is assured a place amongst the group, but Akechi see-saws wildly between wanting to belong and wanting to be a step above the rest and separating himself further. So while Morgana actually really did cut to the core of the issue, his appeal would never have worked at this point because a) Akechi's pride is dependent on him maintaining his solo act, and b) he just got outed as not actually hating Joker in front of seven other people including Joker himself lmao.

So, uh, sorry, Morgana. Points for trying.

[lost-in-fandoms]

Don't ask me why, I don't know it just happened. Maxiel early morning sex with vampire!Daniel I guess

cw: slight somnophilia, blood drinking, tiny bit of praise kink, unprotected (but implied safe) sex

It's still early when Daniel nudges his nose against Max's throat, the sun barely starting to peak out of the horizon, the room still dark and quiet.

He doesn't need too much light to know how Max is looking, pale skin soft and warm with sleep under the sheets, mouth slightly open, messy hair tickling Daniel's forehead. Perfect round ass pressed snugly against Daniel's quickly hardening cock, just the thin layer of Max's boxers between them.

Daniel nudges Max's neck again, one of his hands tracing down Max's body, curling around his hip and squeezing slightly, just enough to alert Max, not enough to fully wake him up, perfectly balanced to elicit a change in his breathing.

He bares his teeth and drags them gently over Max's pulse point, feeling it pick up as Max shifts, pressing back against him with a soft sigh.

"Daniel?" he asks, letters slurring together, as if it could be anyone else. It makes Daniel smile and press his teeth a touch harder into his skin, feeling him shudder. "What time is it?"

"Still early," he murmurs, keeping his voice as soft as possible, not wanting Max to fully wake up.

Max hums, turning his face slightly towards Daniel, eyes still firmly closed, asking for a kiss Daniel is happy to give, trying to keep it sweet even as his hips kick against Max's ass when Max pushes it back again.

Max's lips curve into a smile against his, something small and pleased that Daniel wants to eat, the hunger in his body burning brighter.

"I want you," he says as if it wasn't already clear, their lips brushing together, the hand still on Max's hip traveling lover to his thigh, relishing in the way Max lets himself be moved, bending his knee to give Daniel's space, in the shudder that moves down Max's spine when his teeth find his throat again.

Max hums once more, lax and pliant in his hold, hips moving in lazy circles against Daniel, neck bared.

"Do you want me to be awake?" he murmurs, making Daniel laugh. They've done this often enough he knows he doesn't have to be, but he always asks anyway, always wants to make it good for Daniel, as if just having him here, warm and open in his arms isn't the best Daniel could ask for.

"I'll do the work," Daniel reassures him, already moving him to get rid of his underwear, trying his best to not disturb him too much as he leans over to grab the lube on the nightstand. "You just be good for me."

Max doesn't say anything more, already almost all the way back to sleep, even as Daniel lubes his fingers up and prods at his hole, still a little lose from the night before. He keeps it short but thorough, enjoying every one of Max's quiet sighs and moans, nose pressed on the soft spot just behind his ear, tongue lapping at his pulse point, barely keeping his teeth in check.

He gives in to the impulse of teasing, just a little bit, tugging on Max's rim, keeping his hips still to not allow him to fuck himself back on Daniel's fingers, but Max smells so sweet it's impossible to resist, especially when he starts begging so quickly.

"Please," he whines, sounding barely aware, tongue heavy in his mouth, limbs loose in Daniel's hands, his to take.

"I got you, I'm sorry," Daniel soothes, lining himself up, but stopping just before pushing in. "Can I?" he asks, lips brushing against Max's neck, feeling it move as Max nods.

"Good boy," he praises, steading his dick with one hand and Max's neck with the other.

And then, just as he presses in, he bites.

The tight heat of Max around him and the sweetness of his blood on his tongue make Daniel's head spin, as Max's moan reverberates through his whole body. He almost loses control, wanting nothing more than to snap his hips forward, fuck Max hard and fast until they both come panting, but it's not what this is about. He fights with himself, sucking slowly at Max's neck letting his blood pool on his tongue before swallowing, barely pulling back, grinding his hips against Max's ass in tight smooth circles.

He can feel Max clench around him even as his shoulders relax even more, his head lolling to the side, Daniel's hand the only thing keeping him pressed against his lips.

He listens to the way Max's breath itches, soft whines escaping from his parted lips, guiding his leg a little higher to be able to hit that sweet spot inside him that makes his back arch, his dick kick against his stomach.

"Come, baby," he slurs, a thin rivulet of blood escaping from the corner of his mouth, quickly chased by his greedy tongue.

He feels when Max comes untouched, not only in the change in the tension of his body, but in the way his blood seems to become sweeter and bolder in his mouth, almost too rich to swallow. It's that, and the way he's clenching and shivering through the aftershocks, that makes Daniel come too with a groan, muffled by the liquid in his mouth.

He doesn't move when he's done coming, staying pressed close inside as he dutifully tongues Max's skin until it stops bleeding, before pressing a kiss to the bruise that is already forming there, an apology for the effort he will have to put in to keep it hidden for the next few days.

Max stays still and pliant through it all, breathing deep and steady as if he had indeed gone back to sleep, not complaining even when Daniel finally pulls out, come trickling slowly out of his hole. On a different day, Daniel would want to move, get a closer look, get his mouth on it, but as it is, he just presses as close as he can, kissing Max's neck again. Soon he will get up to clean them both, get something for Max's breakfast, probably start packing for both of them, but for right now he can just enjoy his warmth and smell for a little longer, his blood singing inside him.

[dammarchy211]

Hey I turn tweny today!!!!

I’ve never made one of these meet the artist things before hi

I actually mostly use my sona for school work so that’s why you’ve never seen it before lol

[cherrirui-official]

Friendlocke Violet Gijinkas (Part 1/7)

Since the edited episodes are starting to come out, I figured that bc of that and the fact that I've been keeping this in the back burner for a loooong while now, might as well complete all my friendlocke violet gijinkas!! Some are gonna stay the same while others are gonna have slight/ complete redesigns, so please keep that in mind!

I plan on posting them in order by groups of three, so there's gonna be seven parts in total, all of which I'll be linking here when done vvv

(Part Two) (Part Three) (Part Four) (Part Five) (Part Six) (Part Seven)

!! These will contain personal headcanons I have for the cast, little fun facts, and also spoilers for Friendlocke Violet (for both the edited vids and the streams) !!

@saltydkart-reblogs

And that's pretty much it, designs under the cut!

LARK:

HUGE nerd. spent most of his time during the Uva Academy studying different kinds of pokemon as well as different fighting styles he can utilize once he is able to go out on his own journey with his very own trainer! Too bad that didn't really help in the long run...

His entire wardrobe consists of McDonald's related outfits. It's fucking insane. He even has some from long LONG ago that aren't available anywhere else.

The bubble pattern on his hair is able to move and change. Nobody knows how this is possible, not even Lark himself. All Lark knows is that his hair looks incredibly stylish!

Speaking of bubbles, he has the ability to blow bubbles whenever and wherever he pleases!

Often keeps himself extremely clean and gets upset if even a small speck of dirt gets on him, despite this he somehow smells like McDonald's food and axe body spray. Disgusting. He's so cool!

Even after death he still likes to hang around the other team members as a ghost, often getting to know the newer members as well as reuniting with the old ones. Sometimes they see him, sometimes they don't. It usually depends.

SARA:

Due to being a human in her past life, Sara is able to actually speak with the other humans in the pokemon world. However she usually doesn't due to it being seen as extremely weird and out of place. She did slip up once while talking in the presence of Arven, who thought it was the weed making him hear things.

Oinkologne are usually unable to do much with their hooves but Sara spent nights practicing how to knit with her new hooves and now she's able to do it flawlessly. I don't know how she managed to do that but go queen!

When first joining the team she'd often have the urge to eat her food related companions. It was a strange time for Sara, but she managed to overcome it.

When Peppy gets sick, she usually is the one who nurses him back to health. She was a human once so she often is able to figure out whatever sickness Peppy has and treat it properly. I suppose she's like a second mother to him.

The bag she carries with her is full of thread that she collected from various Tarountula she encountered on the journey, as well as little things she knits together in her spare time.

For the most part, Sara forgives... but NEVER forgets.

Did you guys know that Sara has a new YouTube channel? Check it out!

Pastey:

Before joining the team, Pastey was a nameless wanderer. He's been down every road in Paldea and knows almost the entire region (except for Area Zero) like the back of his hand.

He's gotten hurt pretty badly throughout the run (ie. the Mikey fight, the Atticus fight, and ESPECIALLY the final battle), however, he does not gain any (physical) scars from those fights. This is bc he's basically an axolotl, and axolotls are usually able to heal without scarring.

Pastey's "arms" are, to put it simply, mud prosthetics. More info here vvv

Pastey HAS met Mall Bingo once before the run, however, he doesn't recognize her. The only reason he does not recognize her is bc she wears glasses. (You know how people somehow aren't able to recognize Superman bc he wears glasses in his civilian attire even tho his face remains the same? It's basically like that lmao)

Unlike the lightbulbs he eats, the gasoline he drinks isn't really mandatory to his diet. Gasoline is like alcohol to him and he drinks it like an absolute CHAMP.

He goes fishing when there's nothing else to do or when he can't sleep at night. He doesn't do this bc he thinks it's fun or anything, only bc it's a "good time passer" or so he claims. Other members of the team will often sit with him and vent out anything that's troubling them at the moment, and Pastey is always there to listen to them.

And that's pretty much it. Next is Joe, Hannah Ü, and Mykyie!

[wirefoxedterrier]

My biggest frustrations with the anti-vegan posts that garner thousands of notes on this app are they tend to always be points actively discussed in vegan spaces since their creation.

Veganism varies by circles and isn’t a protected word, so is absolutely used by Instagram dieters and misanthropes who have never considered the oppression of humans, but veganism has also has (and has had for decades) active discussion about the requirement to support human and social liberation alongside that of non-human animals. All leftist vegans I know firmly agree that non-human liberation of the environment and other animals is not going to happen and is futile without just as much focus on all the other injustices in a capitalist society. That includes a holistic boycott whenever possible of products and enterprises that harm humans alongside avoiding animal produce .

Of course like, the tumblr users making these posts probably haven’t seen these vegan circles or discussions because they’re not in them, and the health dieters and non-intersectional single issue focused activists are pretty vocal and infuriating, but still. It’s so infuriating to see people bringing these up as a gotcha towards veganism based off things that vegans have greatly in depth discussions, prioritising the voices of those whom are minorities, for so long.

[sea-jello]

hong kong miku,,,

[torchickentacos]

i will always shout praises of bi4bi but given recent discourse I feel the need to say that I love bi4het too! I just love bisexuality in general in its many forms, and anyone who only likes it when it's 'queer enough' for them is biphobic. Bisexuals should be able to bring their LaMe CiShEt BoYfRiEnD to pride without being made to feel like spectators and outsiders to their own event.

[theerurishipper]

I took upon myself the herculean task of compiling all Dick and Diana interactions.

Batman/Superman: World's Finest #16

Nemesis: The Impostors #3

Nightwing (2016) #100

Titans (2016) Special 1

Titans (2016) Annual 1

Justice League (2011) #51

Wonder Woman (1987) #161

Wonder Woman (1987) #166

Batman/Santa Claus: Silent Knight #4

Nightwing (1996) Annual 2

Some honorary mentions:

These two ones where Diana doesn't interact with Dick one-on-one and is only a part of a larger group, but it's still a good way to show that she respects and trusts him as a leader.

The Brave and The Bold (2007) #15

Justice League: Generation Lost #1

This one where Dick isn't here but Diana shows appreciation for his skills and is very quick to accept that Nightwing should be honored by being in the League (also this isn't about him but I love Clark's "finally, someone easy." That's a proud uncle y'all).

Justice League of America (2006) #2

This one where Diana isn't here but she lets Dick use her Lasso, I think that counts.

Batman/Superman: World's Finest #17

This one where Diana gifted Dick the fastest horse in the world, apparently.

Justice League (2018) #53

These from the 1966 Batman and 1977 Wonder Woman shows' crossover comic.

Batman '66 Meets Wonder Woman '77 #5

Batman '66 Meets Wonder Woman '77 #6

Batman '66 Meets Wonder Woman '77 #10

And then—

Then...

Yeah. That's about it. It's an unfortunately short list. But what little we do have shows that they have a bond of mutual trust and respect for each other. It's very interesting and I wish they explored it more.

[stiffyck]

Having an insane elven duo moment (scar and Gem. They plague my mind.)

They are QPR to me.

My long ass rambles under the cut.

I'm thinking about my elven hair headcanon I made a post about a bit back where elves don't do their own hair but close friends, family members or partners do their hair. If an elf has unkempt hair that means they are lonely and don't have any close relationships.

I'm thinking about secret life and how Scar was all alone until the end. The fleeting alliance he had towards the end wasn't anything close to what Scar needs from an ally or a friend.

I'm thinking about Scars hair becoming more and more of a mess as the game goes on. I'm thinking about how he didn't die at the end of secret life and how in Martyns lore he gets stuck in secret life.

I'm thinking about Scar getting back on hermitcraft and Gem doing his hair. Washing his hair with warm water and a soft smelling shampoo and conditioner. Gem softly brushing out his hair and braiding it.

Scar breaking their silence after a while and apologizing for killing her at the end and for killing so many other people and for being a villain.

I'm thinking about Gem telling him it's alright, she knows it was the tasks. They all know. They all did bad stuff.

Thinking about Gem giving him a kiss on the cheek and wiping away his tears.

-

I'm thinking about Gem having a rough time after her first proper life game.

She had Scott and Impulse to do her hair over the course of the game. She had allies. But she can't shake the weird restlessness of being red. She can't shake the feeling of needing to kill someone.

Thinking about Gem trying to deal with everything on her own.

Scar eventually talks to her and he tells her it's gonna be hard. And if she needs she can always go to him.

Thinking about Scar washing her hair for the first time after the game is over.

Thinking about Gem being stiff and nervous and on edge. Scar doesn't blame her.

Thinking about Scar hugging Gem while they watch a movie.

I'm just thinking about them supporting each other after Secret life that's all.

[transgender-chiroptera]

Can you share some of your favorite bat facts? I wanna add more to my lil arsenal of cool random facts. :]

Of course! Apologies for the late response, I saw this at like 1am four days ago, forgot everything I knew about bats, and then fell asleep and only remembered I even got this ask today. Anyways! Some bat facts :)

Common Vampire bats are some of my absolute favourites, mostly because of their ability to run on the ground! They can gallop with their forelimbs and take off from the ground by leaping into the air and catapulting themselves with their wings, which is speculated to be how Pterodactyls took off as well! Most bats cannot take off from the ground, and must be elevated to take flight, so this is pretty cool. Makes sense too, since they mostly feed from the ankles of large mammals and so need ground maneuverability!

Here's a video of a vamp taking off, and here's a video of one walking around! I think their skittery movements and lil' faces are just the CUTEST, but I know I'm probably in the minority there. Also there's a large dish of blood in the second video, so fair warning there!

All three true Vampire bats have evolved special grooves in their mouths in order to act as a gutter of sorts to funnel the blood into their mouths, but the exact arrangement differs between them. The Hairy-Legged Vampire bat has a groove along the roof of the mouth, whereas the White-Winged and Common Vampire bats have lingual grooves under the tounge! Speaking of White-Winged Vampire bats, they're the only bats in the world with 22 teeth, for some reason (likely no reason since the molars are vestigial), AND they have scent glands in their mouths that might be used to deter predators. Pretty cool stuff!

Finally, all three species of true Vampire Bats are cute as hell. Look at these lil' guys!!

(left to right- White-winged, Hairy-legged, and Common Vampire bats!)

[whiskiijack]

[thatonecrookedsmile]

"There's nothing wrong with dreaming. Wishing for the impossible is just human nature. That's how I got started. Just a pencil and a dream. We all want everything without even having to lift a finger. They say you just have to believe. Belief can make you succeed. Belief can make you rich. Belief can make you powerful. Why with enough belief, you can even cheat death itself. Now that... is a beautiful, and positively silly thought." -Joey Drew.

[OPEN YOUR EYES]

-Line-

-----

I mean, at the end of the day, he wasn't so wrong about that last part.

This one also took a little longer to finish. I wonder why /s.

I usually don't like drawings where I have to create a design for a character I've never drawn before. It ends up making me force myself to come up with ideas and sometimes I end up not liking the design anyway. At least this time? That didn't happen (thank goodness).

At first, I didn't know what to do for this prompt. What I originally conceived was a more "joke" drawing with Joey and Sammy, with Sammy literally drawing the line between him and Joey with a big pencil. No big deal, right? But then the phrase "end of the line" came to mind and then… this happened. Funny. A while back I had an idea for a drawing about Joey's afterlife. The idea was much simpler, from what I remember. And compared to what we have, quite different.

"Death" is what came for Joey, and it's what comes for everyone. What he faces is nothing less than what will determine his fate. It is the very Arbiter itself - the eye that sees all - who decides where souls whose lives are over will go. The heavenly gates in the great beyond? The burning flames in the darkest pit? The void of vast nothingness? Somewhere else beyond? Reveal your soul and the Arbiter will decide. I have a certain guess as to where Joey is going, but I'll leave that up in the air.

Maybe I thought just a little bit too much about a character that I probably won't draw in a long time,but i don't mind giving a little lore even to characters that i don't see using much in the future, you know.

(Also, since I used Joey's audio log from BATIM CH3 in the beginning, did you know that Dave Rivas (Joey's current VA) did his own reading of that audio? He's going to be a guest on the Indie Horror Talk Podcast, and the video they posted teasing Dave's appearance there has him reading this same audio log, only with his Joey voice. So now we have Joey's first audio log in the series voice acted by both his first VA (David Eddings) and his current one. I thought that was cool, you know. I found this out a while back and wanted to talk about it for a sec.)

(Alt. without the text):

[ofmossandmen]

This is my blog and I can talk about whatever the hell I want.

I've been hesitant to involve myself in any form of "shipping drama" just becuase that's not the energy I need in my life right now. With that being said, I don't think there is any harm just stating where I stand so...

I do see some ships in the MCSM fandom that I don't like, one in particular has been gaining at least a bit of popularity as of recent. Yeah, I have thoughts and feelings about some of these pairs but you guys...I'm a tax payer, I have a job, I'm studying for a degree, I own a car...I do not have the time or the energy to have this stuff consume me.

In my personal opinion from my experience in fandom...fandom is really just a space for fans to take the characters from media and essentially play with them like barbies. We make our own stories, we create our own interpretations of our characters, and we make relationship dynamics that might not be cannon compliant.

Everyone is sooo hyped about "cannon non- compliant" until you break cannon to ship characters who wouldn't work in cannon. God, I have been in fandoms where Rarepairs who have never/barley interacted were the backbone of the fandom.

It kinda feels like the same ideology that went around with anti selfshippers is making its rounds again but with rareapairs. "That's cringe." "That's not possible in universe." "You're making the fandom worse." Ok...and???

What I'm trying to get at is that yeah, there are gonna be ships that will give you The Ick ™. But at the end of the day, being nasty about how someone else enjoys being in a fandom just...kills the vibe so hard. You are more than welcome to despise a ship to kingdom come, but attacking a group of people for being creative in their own space. Kills. The. Vibe.

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

when I want to write something self indulgent to give me all the angsty and cuddly hurt/comfort feels but I can't because I end up feeling guilty because I'm seeking after feels that I feel in an inappropriate place because my mom told me one time when I was 15 that I shouldn't search that out or it's probably sexual sin but it confuses me because ALL the feels happen that way for me even if it's entirely platonic and nonsexual and so I don't know if it's okay to want to write to that because apparently all pleasure of any sort, even over platonic stories, is sexual or comes with a possibly probably sexual feeling and I also am having a hard time figuring out what's genuine conviction from God and what's just my anxiety/OCD/perfectionism/fear of failure